1. Never, under any circumstances, take a
sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the
human race has not achieved, and never will achieve,
its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between
"hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with
you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all
of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity,
He WILL NOT use, as His messenger,
a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
6. You should not confuse your career with your life.
7. No matter what happens, somebody
will find a way to take it too seriously.
8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there
is always one individual who perceives a
solution and is willing to take command.
Very often, that individual is crazy.
9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well.
Just get up and dance.
10. Never lick a steak knife.
11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
12. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear
and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely
suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see
an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting
other people to make a big deal about your birthday.
That time is age eleven.
16. The one thing that unites all human beings,
regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status
or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside,
we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized
protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
18. A person who is nice to you, but
rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
(This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
19. Your friends love you anyway.
Believe nothing just because a so-called wise person said it.
Believe nothing just because a belief is generally held.
Believe nothing just because it is said in ancient books.
Believe nothing just because it is said to be of divine origin.
Believe nothing just because someone else believes it.
Believe only what you yourself test and judge to be true.
[paraphrased]
Buddha
"Conversations With My Soul"
midi by
 2003 Bruce DeBoer
Used with permission of the composer.
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